Thursday, December 17, 2009

Songs I Wish I Never Heard

I hope I'm allowed to do my LEAST favorite songs of the decade. If that's out of the scope of this blog, I apologize!

I will be the first to admit that I love cheesy pop music. The hip hop lover in me is alive and well. I usually switch from KIIS 102.7 to the newest Modest Mouse CD before I leave my car, just in case my husband drives my car next. I still want him to think I'm cool.

However, even though I admit to rocking out to the latest pop music, there is some down right awful music out there. I do think we should celebrate the fact that we live in a country where the following songs made it on any kind of "hits" list. We live in America where people are free to like terrible, terrible, terrible music. And I am free to mock them.

Here is my list of songs I wish I never heard, broken down by year:

2000-Three way tie between Thong Song by Sisqo, Higher by Creed (or anything by Creed), and Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down.

2001-Butterfly by Crazy Town. This song has scarred me because my mom would hum this song around the house. MY MOM! Nobody should have to listen to their mother hum the tune to a song whose lyrics include: Such a sexy,sexy pretty little thing/Fierce nipple pierce you got me sprung with your tongue ring. Really? She didn't know the lyrics, but because this song was played everywhere, she had no choice but to learn the tune and hum it.

2002-Work It by Missy Elliott. I won't even post lyrics in case my nephews ever find this blog, but I like less elephants noises in songs.

2003-Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne. I have a friend named Stacy and people STILL sing this song to her.

2004-American Idiot by Green Day. I'll save my comments about this one for my Ron Paul fan page discussion board.

2005-Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls Featuring Busta Rhymes. This must have been on some commercial that aired during baseball games because 2005 was my dad's time to whistle pop songs around the house. No Dad, I don't wish my girlfriend was hot like you.

2006-Fergalicious by Fergie. I haven't figured out how to articulate my hatred for this song. Fergie tied with How to Save a Life by The Fray.

2007-Hey There Delilah by the Plain White Tees. Some guy talking what sounds like a voicemail to his girlfriend gets to make lots of money? Weak. It should be noted this is the year Party Like a Rockstar came out which reminds me of my very funny sister and makes me laugh hysterically.

2008-I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry. I don't like when people try to stir things up just because. Trying to rebel against your Christian upbringing? Seen it. Yaaaawn.

2009-In an effort to end on a positive note, I'm happy to say I can't think of one song that came out this year that makes my skin crawl. However, the year's not over yet!

Thanks for reading!


michelle mcmahon said...

Kim, I love it! Also, I think we might be sisters because my sister is named Kim and the song Party Like a Rockstar reminds my sister of me and makes her laugh hysterically. I'm not kidding. She even had the DJ play it at her wedding when I got introduced at the reception before my maid of honor speech.

Nate said...

Great list Kim! I'd like to propose a tie in 2005 between "Don't Cha" and "My Humps"...especially since the volleyball team I coached that year used to run out to that song every game...drove me nuts. I would also like to nominate a few for consideration for 2009 to include Flo Rida's "Right Round" and the Ting Ting's "That's Not My Name." All apologies to those who love those adorable Ting Tings but that one just really grated on me!

Kim said...

Michelle-I don't even remember how Party Like a Rockstar started. All I know is it makes me happy.

Nate-UGH MY HUMPS! I had blocked that one from memory. Good one!

michelle mcmahon said...

I just realized that you ARE my sister. I was just talking to Tom about this post, and he said it was you, and I was like, no, it's Kim, Colin's friend. When I commented, I really really thought it was written by Colin's friend Kim. I thought it was crazy how much our families must be the same based on the things she was writing about. Wow, I was just so confused for several minutes.

Paul said...

Great list and on the money. However, I would dispute your inclusion of "Thong Song" and "Work It." How can you hate "Thong Song?" It seems almost beyond hate, like it couldn't be taken seriously enough to be worthy of hate. It's so weirdly intense. In "Work It," were you alluding to the term "cha cha?" (sorry nephews)

Kim said...

Michelle-I thought your first post was you being funny and cute. I didn't know you really didn't know it was me. Who else's mom and dad would hum/whistle ridiculous songs around the house?

Paul-The Thong Song first came out when I lived in New Hampshire, where songs like that are taken VERY seriously. It's a sad state. Not only the word cha cha, but also the phrase, "eat it like a vulcha." !!!!!

michelle mcmahon said...

Tom had told me he was going to include you on the Jamboree this year, but I had totally forgotten about that, so it never occured to me that you could be writing here. I was thinking, "Wow, I should befriend this Kim and ask her if she wants to hang out some time because she is so funny and we have so much in common and would be like best friends!" I think it's proof that I would love you even if you weren't my sister. Awwww.

Thomas McMahon IV said...

Nate, Paul and I were hip to Crazy Town before they catapulted to brief fame in the U.S. with "Butterfly." They stayed in the same hotel that we did in Berlin. They looked so punk. Then we saw a flyer (in Prague, I think) for a Crazy Town show that described them as "Korn meets Limp Bizkit." Just trying to imagine that makes my head hurt.

Also on this subject, did anyone else here realize that DJ AM was in Crazy Town? I didn't until I just looked at their Wikipedia page.

Colin McCormick said...

Uggh...this list stirred up some awful memories. I'm sure we could add to it forever, but let's not forget "Who Let The Dogs Out?" here. For 2009, I'd like to add Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feelin'".

Paul said...

I think a good argument can be made that "Who Let the Dogs Out" is the one of the best songs of this decade.

For this year, I'd say that Owl City song.

Kim said...

I heard that Ralphs commercial on the radio today that goes, "C'mon everybody! Let's twist!" and I'd like to make that my least favorite song of 2009.

Colin McCormick said...

That Owl City song is nauseating, but I can hardly believe "Who Let The Dogs Out" actually exists.

rpweber said...

Tom, I remember when we saw Crazy Town in Berlin, and Kart and I got excited because I thought they were real life Euro punks. We were sadly mistaken.

Kim, I agree with everything here, and moreover, I endorse the premise of this list. Well played.

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