Recently, I got the chance to sit down with myself to discuss a rather eventful year. What follows is a partial transcript of the interview set to appear in Esquire early next year.
Ryan: As faithful readers of this list know, you don't know anything about music, which is why you resort to cheap tricks like interviewing yourself. Still, did you have any interesting musical experiences in 2006?
Ryan: Indeed. One was listening to Sufjan Stevens' Come on Feel the Illinoise while driving to Chicago. In response to the response "That's sooooo 2005," it was in January 2006. Also, I listened to the Shins Whincing the Night Away while being kicked in the Shins. In response to the response "That's sooooo 2007," that moment hasn't actually happened yet.
Ryan: Very well then. Anything interesting happening in the world of comics, which you do actually know something about, nerd?
Ryan: Let me finish pushing my glasses up my face and then I'll report. [pause] Ok. Yes, several great comics came out this year. Brad Metzler's JLA #0 was an excellent examination of the relationship between Batman, Superman, and Wonderwoman. Paul Dini's run on Detective Comics has been entertaining, especially 826, which was excellent. Alex Ross' Justice continues to provide everything you could ever want in a superhero comic. I finally started reading Y: The Last Man, which is consistently witty and intelligent. Craig Thompson's Blankets is a moving and identifiable story about first love, but it's overpriced, kids, so get it at the library. You, too, will find it impressive.
Ryan: Excellent. Speaking of you, too, how much has Youtube changed your life?
Ryan: Almost entirely, mostly because of this video, which should be watched on the fourth of July.
Ryan: Any moving deaths on television this year?
Ryan: Yes. Jonathan Kent's death on Smallville was respectfully handled and appropriately foreshadowed. In contrast, Edgar Stiles' death on 24 was shocking and painful. And apparently a lot of people died on Lost, and one of them was a hot chick who wore bikinis. Pity.
Ryan: What other entertainment satisfied you this year?
Ryan: Little Miss Sunshine has the most satisfying conclusion to a movie I can recall in some time. South Park's parody of Family Guy was funny and deserved, even though Family Guy has also been fairly funny. The Vanity Fair featuring ScarJo naked on the cover was a treat. Michael Martone's The Blue Guide to Indiana, which is an entirely fictitious travel guide to my adopted state, is a joy to read. Also, I just finished The Invisible Century, about Einstein and Freud, which will learn you something if you read it. And when Rosie O'Donnell asserted on the view that no one would question Mario Lopez's sexuality, I was entertained.
Ryan: Was Superman Returns a good enough movie to make up for the mediocre X-men movie which resulted from Bryan Singer's departure?
Ryan: Anything interesting in your personal world of automobiles?
Ryan: This year I went to my first demolition derby, which was a smash-em up good time, even though most of it is spent removing cars from the arena. My car was also hit by a school bus, which was not a smash-em up good time.
Ryan: Very well then. On the subject of car wrecks, do you find Fergie to be one of the most reprehensible and odious personalities in recent history, whose lack of talent, ugliness, and needless celebrity are only highlighted by constant media exposure?
Ryan: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Ryan: Great. Lastly, what should people have done with the time they wasted reading this post?
Ryan: They should have read the New Republic's November 27th issue, which presented 17 possible approaches to the Iraq conflict, all well reasoned. It serves as an altenative for people seeking serious dialogue between the cut-and-run and stay the course extremes. I have the issue as a pdf, if anyone wants it e-mailed. They also should be listening to Elton John's Step into Christmas to prepare for the holidays.
Ryan: Thank you Ryan. You are always a joy to interview, and devilishly handsome to boot.