Hi, my name is Tommy. I am negative five weeks old and I live inside Michelle McMahon’s womb. She is helping me type this since I don’t have access to a computer in here. This is a list of the best albums that I’ve heard my mom playing. I know they didn’t all come out this year, but I’m not even born yet, so cut me some slack.
10. Sufjan Stevens, Illinois
9. Jack Johnson and Friends, Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the Film Curious George
8. Erlend Oye, DJ-Kicks (except for my mom doesn’t want me to listen to track seven because it’s called 2D2F, which stands for “too drunk to fuck,” but sometimes she forgets to skip it and I get to hear it, but I don’t know what all that stuff means anyway)
7. Colleen, The Golden Morning Breaks
6. Colleen, Everyone Alive Wants Answers
5. Jens Lekman, When I Said I Wanted To Be Your Dog
4. Classics for Kids, Mozart for Kids
3. Andrew Bird, The Mysterious Production of Eggs (I love that song about measuring cups.)
2. Ulrich Schnauss, Far Away Trains Passing By
1. Ulrich Schnauss, A Strangely Isolated Place (You’ve got to hear Ulrich Schnauss from inside a uterus some time. It’s great.)
I hope to meet you all some day. Now I have to go kick my mom in the ribs for a few hours.
Thomas Aloysius McMahon V